Payton Gets Paid

Everybody hates to see a white boy get a little motion.

The NBA’s most electric white boy just got a bag. I’m not talking about the one you pick up from Jamaica Plain, down an alley with your friend Daniel, whose dad’s a cop in case anything goes wrong. I’m talking about straight cash. Dineros. Mulla.

Payton Pritchard just inked a brand-new, two-year, $44.2 million deal, locking him in with the Boston Celtics through the 2030 season. Well-earned and well-deserved. In my opinion, he’s currently getting fleeced on the four-year, $30 million deal he signed during the 2023 offseason. Soon after the Celtics hung Banner 18, Pritchard proved to be an important piece of the championship run. Fans of the team believed the half-court heaver wasn’t earning his money’s worth, and this most recent contract shows the Celtics thought similarly.

As discussed in the most recent episode of this site’s flagship podcast, The Green Line Breakdown (which you can find on the homepage), I’m expecting Pritchard to take a leap this year with the absence of Jaylen Brown. The numbers suggest that Jaylen Brown’s ball-dominant play style may have limited opportunities for guys like Pritchard and Derrick White. Now, with Brown gone and replaced by the facilitator-first mindset of Jayson Tatum, Pritchard can fill the hole left by No. 7. One of the few guys outside of Tatum that Mazzulla trusts to carry the ball up the court consistently, Pritchard has the awareness and speed to make the entire Celtics lineup a fluid organism. Motor oil to make the machine run. A spark off the bench. An energizer.

Pritchard’s defense could use a pick-me-up. After losing Jrue Holiday, the perimeter defense slumped ever so slightly. Derrick White still garnered All-Defensive accolades, but Pritchard could use some hardware in that department. This team was championship-caliber when the guards were locking down, and we’ll be looking to revert to the old ways. While small in stature, Payton has no fear and is willing to take on any man who chooses to come across the White Bulldog. A real scrapper. A lunch-pail guy. And other euphemisms for small white athletes.

Every basketball fan dreams of making the NBA. For the 5-foot-8 to 6-foot-1 white guys, seeing Pritchard out there really makes us believe that it was the ankle injury in high school keeping us from the big show. Well-deserved, Payton. Now go stunt on ’em, cracker.