Everyone Hates the Bruins
Everyone hates the Boston Bruins and they’re wrong. As New England sports fans, we know what it’s like to be hated. At the time of writing, the Bruins sit atop the Atlantic Division with 25 points in 17 games played. We’re coming off a gritty win against the Vegas Golden Knights, showing our team can hang with the size and prowess of the previous season’s Stanley Cup Championship runner-up. We’re also coming off a clinic against Sidney Crosby’s Shittsburg Penguins. Morgan Geekie is on a three game goal streak, Hagen’s Calder chances increase every game, and the Bruins are sporting one of the best goalie tandems in the NHL. What is there to hate? Where is this hate exactly and why am I convinced there’s an anti-Bruins conspiracy brewing?
The hate is coming from both the supposed professionals at the New York Times’s The Athletic and from the degenerate gamblers. Somehow a godforsaken “The Athletic” NHL playoffs chances visual comes across my feed every damn day and every damn day the Bruins don’t move. It’s as if they’re attempting to sow doubt within the fanbase, the locker room, and the organization writ large. They claim that the rankings come from 100,000 simulations when I can’t even count to 10. The degenerates are in on the hate and the conspiracy too. Their consensus is that the Bruins have the 14th best chance at making the playoffs, at 60%. The Athletic puts them at 61%, in an apparent attempt to hide their own degeneracy.
Why so low? The likely reason is, as I’ve stated, hate and a conspiracy. They want to deny that the Bruins are executing the system. They want to deny that the retool worked once again. We’re combining elite finishing and execution with elite goaltending. This is reflected by the Bruins’ league-leading goals-differential above expected on 5 on 5 according to moneypuck.com. The haters don’t believe it and that’s just how we like it. They’ll reason that the Atlantic is a very strong division or that the Bruins must come back to earth. They’ll cite regression to the mean or some other cliche. They’ll say the Bruins don’t pass the eye test. We know the truth and the truth is that the haters are coping. Let them continue to cope.
If you’re like Vito, spending “a large portion of his Sundays on a particular green app,” hammer the Bruins making playoffs. Dollar cost average that shit like its your 401k in the S&P500. It’s an investment, it’s a lock, and it might even be legal. Let’s get ready for playoffs Beantown.
At least moneypuck.com has some belief in the Bruins, sitting at #9 in their power rankings just behind the Panthers. I expect Sunday’s upcoming win against the Panthers will quiet the doubters just a bit more. Or not. We couldn’t wish for a better situation.
- beantownrush
- jrottari@gmail.com